Three For One!
*****
Gas
So what’s the deal with these gas stations?
No I’m not talking about the high prices.
No I’m not talking about the car washes that scratch up & damage you cars.
No I’m not talking about the cheap food & the dirty insomniac that’s working behind the counters.
I’m talking about that damn counter on the pump.
Why oh why do they have to set that damn thing to slow down when you get near the end of your purchase?
Is this a law or something?
You ask for $5 or $10 or whatever & you pump away. The counter flies by & you car drinks a plenty.
But then, right near the end, the freaking thing slows down!
Now I might be the only one complaining about this but come on for cripes sake!
It’s the winter season now & the one thing I don’t want to have to do is stand out in the cold more than I have to for the damn pump to finish!
And I am being reasonable here. If they want to set the thing to slow down at the 5 mark that would be cool. But the places I’ve been hitting lately has the thing slow down at the 75 mark!
Even if I wanted to be a cool guy, start the pump & have it pump itself with that little thingy, & sit in my car to keep warm, That damn thing clicks off.
Why?
It’s because that damn thingy is set to stop pumping when the pump slows down!!!!
Ahhhh!
And really, if the pump is slowing down, are we still getting the same amount of gas we get when that pump flies? Hmmm?
*****
Food
Let’s talk fast food.
So I get up a little late one day & head out around 10:15 & get the urge to eat a greasy burger.
Ah but they don’t serve greasy burgers in the morning before 10:30.
No matter, as I glance to the digital clock in my car I see that the greasy burger making time is near – 10:25.
So I pull into the famous Clown Advertised burger joint & move up to the highly advance communication devise they supply for us & order a cheeseburger & large coke.
"Sorry we’re only serving breakfast now."
I glance at my clock & notice that the time is exactly 10:30am.
Hmmm?
"What time do you start serving food?"
(Breakfast is breakfast – Lunch & dinner you eat food)
"10:30" they answer.
"It’s 10:30 now."
"Not according to our clock."
Not according to our clock.?
I had the right time. In fact I was listening to an AM news station on the radio & the half-hour newsbreak was already on.
Not loosing my temper but thinking the whole situation was ridiculous I boldly answer back to the lady,
"Okay, I’ll wait."
I wasn’t in the wrong but pissed that they weren’t going to like me sitting there blocking those precious late breakfast eaters who should have gotten up early enough for breakfast –
It’s 10:30 now idiots!!!!
FOOD TIME!!!!!
"Sir, you can’t stay there, we’re not serving burgers yet."
Hmmm?
"What time does you’re clock say now."
Pause
"Okay you want what?"
Who makes these rules anyway?
Who gave them the approval to dictate what time you want to eat a Breakfast or a Burger I wonder?
After repeating my order I was asked to pull up to the front window.
I did, most graciously & paid the student who looked at me angrily through the mini window.
Handing me back my change she said,
"You’ll have to pull up there & we’ll bring it out to you."
What, the food’s not ready?
They say they start selling food at 10:30am & they don’t even have the food ready at 10:30am for those hungry 100 billion who visit every day?
What the hell are they doing?!!!!
"I’ll wait here."
"Sir, there are people behind you who’s food is ready."
"Breakfast food?"
"Yes."
"They can wait, besides you shouldn’t be serving breakfast now. Now it’s 10:39 & you should be serving burgers."
With that the little one slammed the small glass doors & a conference took place between the uniformed workers, all peering out to get a look at the man who won’t move. The man who only wants his burger. The man who could be a lunatic with an Uzi & blow the whole place away!!!
But no, I’ll leave that for Michael Douglas.
After a short while & the committee of clown workers dispersed, the doors opened & I was given my food.
I took it & smiled back at the worker ant.
"Remember, the customer is always right", I said and I drove away.
Of course I didn’t eat it, could have been tainted by the unhappy ones.
I should have gone to the King Burger place where you can get a burger 24 hrs a day!
Ummm?
But then again, you know what?
You can get a burger from them at any time of the day.
But you can’t get anything from the breakfast menu during the day!
But that’s for another rant!
*****
Lodging
There are three simple rules…
Bring your own beverages unless you want to spend a dollar or more for a can of soda.
Don’t drink from the complimentary bar (it’s not).
And never sleep on the sheets until you check them with that ultraviolet light!!!
Nuff said.
*****
Copyright ©2000 Roger B. Domian