The Dark Ages

"The Dark Ages"

These were the bad times.

From 1988 throughout 1996 I entered these dark times due to some very unfortunate things in my life.

To try to explain just what led me to this valley will be summed up as simply as possible.

Divorce #1

Irreconcilable Differences.

We both decided to live the rest of our lives apart.

Good idea - We couldn't stand each other.

Bad idea - We had a child to try to keep us together.

I haven't seen her since she was three.

Thanks to our judicial system.

Apparently asking your spouse to dress in a cheerleader outfit to enhance your mundane sex life is considered highly unusual behavior. According to the judge it is considered along the lines of child molestation and therefore prohibits me now to watch my child grow.

The Holidays were hard.

They still are.

Holidays are also hard due to my father passing away of a heart attack two months before my daughter was born.

He never looked into her eyes.

Divorce #2

Jekyle and Hyde syndrome

You find someone who's stable and lives with her grandmother and your heart thumps once more.

The marriage ensues

One year is beautiful.

Then, somewhere out of the wide open outer reaches of our known galaxy your spouse gets the idea to quit here stable 10 year old job to become something she has always wanted to be...A Bartender.

You shake it off and feel with your own fruitful job you can handle the financial change.

Then your loving wife starts to dress like a slut when she goes to work.

"It's for good tips" she says.

Then her hours change to the nightlife.

2 months go by.

Then she doesn't get home until the next morning.

Some fights begin, but the situation only gets worse.

The male jealousy kicks in.

You start to take time off of your fruitful job to follow her around like some spy.

Somewhere around here she starts to indulge in a white powder.

You see her car being driven by some guy you don't know.

More fights continue.

She complains about not getting any sex.

I answer back, "Not without an AIDS test."

Doors slam.

The husband spy continues his watch until he's notified by his fruitful job that it is no more.

The drinking starts.

The drinking....starts!

Being a Security guard sucks but it's all you can get because your once fruitful job will not give you a good reference. BASTARDS!

Then your 'loving' wife decides to come home after a three day drug binge somewhere.

That's when you throw her and her clothes out of the apartment while the neighbors watch and listen. Embarrassing but needed.

I am alone....

Six months later she shows up to sign the divorce papers, and she brings along her child.

Not mine.

Thank God!

The papers get signed and she exits, back to live with her grandmother and raise her child, by herself.

Alone again.

Peacefully..

No.

Living in an apartment that you pay $455 a month while working for the sum of $6.25 an hour makes livin' miserable. Not to mention that you now have a drinking problem unable to shake because it's the only release you got to forget all of your worries.

Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.

No solution there.

But Thanksgiving and Christmas kill when you know that your young blood is out there and have no idea that you exist.

Life sucks.

But we're all dealt these cards to learn, right?

But I didn't see that. All I wanted was to try to be happy. Anyway. My way.

Every night for years I would escape into movies while drinking like a fish and eating like a Ethiopian.

Friends would come by and try to get me to head out with them, but I would decline.

I was now much happier in my own nightmare.

The rent was two months behind.

Utilities were frequently shut of for a time.

My mother would help out best as she could to get me back onto my feet.

By that time I was almost a hundred pounds overweight and thinking of other thoughts.

The kind of thoughts a person should never think.

Things would be so much easier if...

Peace at last.

But I couldn't do it.

I had too much heart.

I couldn't do that to my family.

My friends

My daughter.

I don't know just what prevented me from the deed.

I'm just glad it did.

My childhood friend Perry helped the most. He was the one who would come over and put a little happiness back into my life. Financially and mentally.

Then

He convinced me to start going out and do things with my friends.

Soon I got a better (Fruitful) job.

The rent and bills were slowly paid off.

I was starting to live again.

Yeayyyyy!

Thank the lord I was.

On to...

"Back From The Dead"